How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
