did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
