nut hugger
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
