I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
