Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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