Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
