ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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