I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
