IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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