Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
