My hand turned me down
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
