we have pet lesbian snakes
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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