I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
