she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
