break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
