Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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