I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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