Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
