I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i will never coherently bang her
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
