Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I understand Curling. That high.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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