and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
