so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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