Having a random hookup so left but love u
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
