Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
