Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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