also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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