He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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