So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
