and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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