Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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