I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
