They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
