She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
