haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
