ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
