So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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