Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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