What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
