She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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