Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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