is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
