sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
