she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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