He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
