what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
