dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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