so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
