There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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