I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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