Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
